The Laws of Work

- If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
- If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- Following the rules will not get the job done.
- Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
- No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
- A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
- Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
- It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done, and what you're going to do.
- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
- If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
- If you are good, you will complete all your assigned work. If you're really good, you'll get out of it.
- You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
- People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
- The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

"Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs." Malcolm Forbes