Seven Reasons NOT to Get Married

"Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this" (1 Corinthians 7:28b).

Can you imagine this passage of Scripture quoted as part of a wedding ceremony? The Apostle Paul's realistic take on marriage goes against the romantic ideal of "love at first sight" and, even more, the belief that wedlock will bring perpetual bliss. But Paul's opinion on marriage (not surprisingly, Paul chose to remain single) does spotlight a truth that couples cannot afford to ignore – whether they're contemplating getting married, are already engaged, or have been wed for years.

Being a husband or wife is not easy. More specific, marriage will, at times, bring great difficulty. Divorce remains prevalent because many couples do not realize this, so when trouble comes, they give up too soon, hurt and disillusioned as their definition of what a marriage should be becomes shattered.

Consider each one carefully and honestly. You should probably not get married if...

1. You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own.
Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." In the Greek, "devoted" is defined in this verse as reciprocal tenderness, while "honor" is identified as showing deference to another person. How often are these characteristics apparent in how you behave toward your fiancé or spouse?

2. You are easily offended, carry grudges, and are unwilling to forgive.
An overly sensitive, vengeful or calloused attitude has no place in any relationship, especially a marriage. The Bible gives you the challenging yet correct standard: "Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13b).

3. You are an abusive person (mentally, emotionally, physically).
Author and domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft finds that abusers – who, by the way, are primarily men but also include women – abuse for a variety of reasons. These include a need for power and control, finding someone to blame for their problems, and wanting to be the center of attention. Do you see yourself anywhere in these attributes?

4. You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities, or vision.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Oneness is essential in marriage, and its foundation is built on these characteristics.

5. You have an unresolved addiction problem.
"Like a city whose walls are broken down," Proverbs 25:28 says, "is a man who lacks self-control." The Web site Addictions.org lists a variety of harmful addictions affecting millions of people, including addictions to sex, shopping, sleeping, people pleasing, perfectionism, pornography, and overworking. Each will undermine a marriage if ignored.

6. Your career is the most important thing in your life.
Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Selfish ambition is interpreted in the Greek as "a desire to put one's self forward, a partisan and fractious spirit," while vain conceit is identified as "groundless, empty pride." Examine how your profession shapes who you are. Does it bring out these traits in you?

7. You are unwilling to be an active sexual partner with your spouse.
As a couple, read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. The Bible speaks directly to this vital issue; verse 3 is clear: "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." There's no room in a healthy marriage for sexual games, and an active sexual relationship works to ward off temptation to sin.

Don't be discouraged if you struggle with any of the above reasons. A quality marriage is not defined as one that's perfect. But do yourself, and your future or current spouse, a favor by committing to change or grow stronger individually in each area. You won't regret it, and will be able to face and overcome the "troubles" of marriage with unity and in God's power.

– Dr. Randy Carlson (Reprinted from "Insights and Inspiration," Family Life Radio newsletter, November 2006.)


"I've made an odd discovery. Every time I talk to a servant I feel quite sure that happiness is no longer a possibility. Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convinced of the opposite." Bertrand Russell

7 Types of Tea

Full Article: Health Benefits

Unlike coffee, where moderation is key, lots of tea means lots of health benefits. And nowadays, even your run-of-the-mill grocery store stocks a huge selection of teas in every flavor and color.

Tea is the most widely consumed beverage in the world, other than water, according to the Tea Association of the USA. Even in the United States, which is typically thought of as a coffee-drinking nation, tea is a mainstay in close to 80 percent of households.

Interestingly, ALL tea (except herbal tea) comes from the same plant, a warm-weather evergreen called Camellia sinensis. (Herbal teas are made from leaves, roots, bark, seeds or flowers of other plants, and technically are "infusions" or "tisanes," not "teas.") It's the way the plant is processed that makes the varieties take on their characteristic color and taste. Green tea, for instance, is not exposed to any oxygen, and its leaves are simply steamed, rolled and dried. Black tea, on the other had, is exposed to oxygen, or oxidized, for two to four hours.

1. Black Tea
Of all the tea Americans drank in 2007, 82 percent of it was black tea. Studies have shown that regularly drinking three or more cups of black tea a day can reduce your risk of heart disease and stroke. A study in the European Heart Journal also found that drinking black tea improves the ability of arteries to relax and expand to keep blood pressure healthy (but adding milk to the tea blocked this impact!).

2. Green tea
Accounted for 17 percent of Americans' tea consumption in 2007. It is one of the most talked about "healthy" teas, as it's a rich source of catechin polyphenols, namely epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG), which is a potent antioxidant. Here is just a short list of some of the conditions green tea is supposed to help:
- Cancer
- Rheumatoid arthritis
- High cholesterol levels
- Heart disease
- Infection
- Impaired immune function
- Obesity, overweight
- High blood sugar levels

3. Oolong Tea
Oolong tea comes from leaves that are withered, rolled, semi-fermented and fired, resulting in a rich flavor and aroma. Oolong tea is especially rich in polyphenols and studies have found that it can help to reduce obesity, prevent tooth decay and improve atopic dermatitis. Research has also suggested that drinking oolong tea after a high-cholesterol meal may reduce the uptake of fats into your bloodstream.

4. White Tea
White tea is the least processed form of tea; the leaves and buds are only steamed and then dried. It is similar in health benefits to green tea, but in some cases may be even healthier. For instance, a study by the Linus-Pauling Institute found that white tea was more effective than green tea in inhibiting mutagenicity, an early step in the process leading to cancer. White tea also contained certain polyphenols in levels higher than in green tea brewed under the same conditions.

5. Matcha Tea
Matcha is a high-quality green tea in which the leaves are ground into a powder. The tea particles are therefore added right to the water, rather than being steeped and strained like typical teas, resulting in a strong, somewhat bitter flavor. Matcha is the only type of tea in which the whole leaf is consumed, so very high-quality leaves are used. It is said to be one of the healthiest green teas out there, known for helping to prevent cancer and heart disease and slow the aging process.

6. Pu-erh Tea
Pu-erh tea is processed, fermented, formed into bricks or "cakes," and then aged (in fact, it's the only type of tea that is aged). Named for the town in Southwestern China where it is grown, pu-erh tea has been enjoyed by the Chinese for decades and is said to lower cholesterol, aid digestion and cure hangovers. This tea is known for its strong, earthy taste, and can be quite expensive the older it gets.

7. Red Tea
Red tea, also known as rooibos, is an herbal tisane grown only in South Africa. Like green tea, rooibos is rich in polyphenols and flavonoids that may help to boost your immune system and protect you from free radical damage. This naturally caffeine-free infusion is also rich in healthy minerals such as iron, potassium and copper.