Seven Reasons NOT to Get Married

"Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this" (1 Corinthians 7:28b).

Can you imagine this passage of Scripture quoted as part of a wedding ceremony? The Apostle Paul's realistic take on marriage goes against the romantic ideal of "love at first sight" and, even more, the belief that wedlock will bring perpetual bliss. But Paul's opinion on marriage (not surprisingly, Paul chose to remain single) does spotlight a truth that couples cannot afford to ignore – whether they're contemplating getting married, are already engaged, or have been wed for years.

Being a husband or wife is not easy. More specific, marriage will, at times, bring great difficulty. Divorce remains prevalent because many couples do not realize this, so when trouble comes, they give up too soon, hurt and disillusioned as their definition of what a marriage should be becomes shattered.

Consider each one carefully and honestly. You should probably not get married if...

1. You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own.
Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." In the Greek, "devoted" is defined in this verse as reciprocal tenderness, while "honor" is identified as showing deference to another person. How often are these characteristics apparent in how you behave toward your fiancé or spouse?

2. You are easily offended, carry grudges, and are unwilling to forgive.
An overly sensitive, vengeful or calloused attitude has no place in any relationship, especially a marriage. The Bible gives you the challenging yet correct standard: "Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13b).

3. You are an abusive person (mentally, emotionally, physically).
Author and domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft finds that abusers – who, by the way, are primarily men but also include women – abuse for a variety of reasons. These include a need for power and control, finding someone to blame for their problems, and wanting to be the center of attention. Do you see yourself anywhere in these attributes?

4. You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities, or vision.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Oneness is essential in marriage, and its foundation is built on these characteristics.

5. You have an unresolved addiction problem.
"Like a city whose walls are broken down," Proverbs 25:28 says, "is a man who lacks self-control." The Web site Addictions.org lists a variety of harmful addictions affecting millions of people, including addictions to sex, shopping, sleeping, people pleasing, perfectionism, pornography, and overworking. Each will undermine a marriage if ignored.

6. Your career is the most important thing in your life.
Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Selfish ambition is interpreted in the Greek as "a desire to put one's self forward, a partisan and fractious spirit," while vain conceit is identified as "groundless, empty pride." Examine how your profession shapes who you are. Does it bring out these traits in you?

7. You are unwilling to be an active sexual partner with your spouse.
As a couple, read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. The Bible speaks directly to this vital issue; verse 3 is clear: "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." There's no room in a healthy marriage for sexual games, and an active sexual relationship works to ward off temptation to sin.

Don't be discouraged if you struggle with any of the above reasons. A quality marriage is not defined as one that's perfect. But do yourself, and your future or current spouse, a favor by committing to change or grow stronger individually in each area. You won't regret it, and will be able to face and overcome the "troubles" of marriage with unity and in God's power.

– Dr. Randy Carlson (Reprinted from "Insights and Inspiration," Family Life Radio newsletter, November 2006.)


"I've made an odd discovery. Every time I talk to a servant I feel quite sure that happiness is no longer a possibility. Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convinced of the opposite." Bertrand Russell

The Corporate Survivor

Tips from ann Airline Consultant working with an up and-coming airline like Jet Airways... Extracted from TODAY.

“It can be hard for parents to give advice to their children. They’ll say: ‘I know all this, Dad’.” Coming fresh from the university or polytechnic, the newbies tend to think a lot about their privileges and rights, such as wanting more benefits and not working long hours. So, they may not have the patience or perseverance to wait things out a bit.

Some mistakes may appear inconsequential at the start, but come back to haunt you — playing politics, for example. Politics in itself is not a bad thing, but it has consequences. Some people like to stab others in the back on their way up, something I think one should never indulge in.

Take your job seriously, but not to take yourself too seriously.

A History of Evil

"Teach the young people how to think, not what to think." Sidney Sugarman

Up your relationship
Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN, author of When Your “Perfect Partner” Goes Perfectly Wrong, offers these tips to help you and your partner develop trust in each other.

- Be consistent.
- Be on time. When you have to be late, call and say you’ll be late.
- Be fair, even in an argument.
- Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. You can still disagree, but don’t discount how your partner feels.
- Being a good listener.
- Carry out your fair share of chores.
- Respect your partner’s boundaries.
- Try not to overreact when things go wrong.
- Do what you say you will do, and call when you say you will call.
- Don’t lie — not even little white lies — to your partner or to others.
- Don’t dig up old wounds. Remember that once you say things, you can’t take them back.
- Don't be jealous.

Can Objective Morality Exist Without God?

Can't people who don't believe in God be just as moral as those who do? Why say that the existence of human morality points to the existence of a "Higher Power"? by Michael Horner

If God does not exist then objective moral principles and obligations do not exist. Morality would only be a matter of individual or cultural opinion. But this would mean that torturing babies for fun, rape, & child abuse are not really objectively wrong, and are only a matter of opinion. How likely is it, though, that these atrocities are not really objectively wrong? Can you live with this conclusion? Our deepest intuitions inform us that these actions are horribly wrong.

This is really a summary of a moral argument for God’s existence. Formally it looks like this:

i) If God does not exist, objective moral principles & obligations do not exist
ii) Objective moral principles & obligations do exist
iii) Therefore, God exists

Full article

Anyway, a question, "Is being good a bad thing?"

"Confidence on the outside begins by living with integrity on the inside." Brian Tracy

13 Things Not to Share with Your Co-workers

This is an interesting article by Rachel Zupek, CareerBuilder.com writer

It’s happened to everyone before. The constant flow of words that just keep coming, long after you’ve made your point (if there ever was one) and even longer after people stopped caring. The kind of gibberish that just won’t stop unless someone else starts talking. The type of chatter that inevitably ends with you wishing you’d put a sock in it.

Yes, verbal diarrhea is never a good thing – but it can be worse in some places more than others...

... here are 13 things to never share or discuss with your co-workers.


1. Salary information
What you earn is between you and Human Resources, Solovic says. Disclosure indicates you aren’t capable of keeping a confidence.

2. Medical history
“Nobody really cares about your aches and pains, your latest operation, your infertility woes or the contents of your medicine cabinet,” Lopeke says. To your employer, your constant medical issues make you seem like an expensive, high-risk employee.

3. Gossip
Whomever you’re gossiping with will undoubtedly tell others what you said, Solovic says. Plus, if a co-worker is gossiping with you, most likely he or she will gossip about you.

4. Work complaints
Constant complaints about your workload, stress levels or the company will quickly make you the kind of person who never gets invited to lunch, Solovic warns. If you don’t agree with company policies and procedures, address it through official channels or move on.

5. Cost of purchases
The spirit of keeping up with the Joneses is alive and well in the workplace, Lopeke says, but you don’t want others speculating on the lifestyle you’re living –or if you’re living beyond your salary bracket.

6. Intimate details
Don’t share intimate details about your personal life. Co-workers can and will use the information against you, Solovic says.

7. Politics or religion
“People have strong, passionate views on both topics,” Solovic says. You may alienate a co-worker or be viewed negatively in a way that could impact your career.

8. Lifestyle changes
Breakups, divorces and baby-making plans should be shared only if there is a need to know, Lopeke says. Otherwise, others will speak for your capabilities, desires and limitations on availability, whether there is any truth to their assumptions or not.

9. Blogs or social networking profile
What you say in a social networking community or in your personal blog may be even more damaging than what you say in person, Solovic warns. “Comments online can be seen by multiple eyes. An outburst of anger when you are having a bad day … can blow up in your face.”

10. Negative views of colleagues
If you don’t agree with a co-worker’s lifestyle, wardrobe or professional abilities, confront that person privately or keep it to yourself, Lopeke says. The workplace is not the venue for controversy.

11. Hangovers and wild weekends
It’s perfectly fine to have fun during the weekend, but don’t talk about your wild adventures on Monday, Solovic advises. That information can make you look unprofessional and unreliable.

12. Personal problems and relationships – in and out of the office
“Failed marriages and volatile romances spell instability to an employer,” Lopeke says. Office romances lead to gossip and broken hearts, so it’s best to steer clear. “The safest way to play is to follow the rule, ‘Never get your honey where you get your money.’”

13. Off-color or racially charged comments
You can assume your co-worker wouldn’t be offended or would think something is funny, but you might be wrong, Solovic says. Never take that risk. Furthermore, even if you know for certain your colleague wouldn’t mind your comment, don’t talk about it at work. Others can easily overhear.

Take the Entrepreneurship Test

The Hawker and The Banker

Scott Shane of Case Western recently published The Illusions of Entrepreneurship: The Costly Myths That Entrepreneurs, Investors, and Policy Makers Live By. In the book, he bursts many of the bubbles of entrepreneurship in America. Says he, “People start businesses based on the myths we tell ourselves about entrepreneurship and then are hurt when confronted by reality. Investors believe these myths and invest money and they’re disappointed when they don’t hold true. Policy makers make policy based on these myths and then wonder why the economy isn’t growing with all these entrepreneurs now in it.” If you think you already really know the scoop about entrepreneurship, try taking his test (U.S.). If you score less than 80%, maybe you should buy the book. The Illusions of Entrepreneurship

Conflict Calisthenics

Introducing Conflict Calisthenics by Clarke Ching


The hands represent the 2 conflicting entities (the D and D') which flows easy in conversation. "On the one hand ... and on the other ..."
The shoulders represent the needs or concerns (the B and C entities), or "the weights on your shoulders".
The head, the heart and the belly represent the overall objective or mutual purpose (the A entity).

An apt and useful right brained presentation revolving the human self with its form.

"Science cannot resolve moral conflicts, but it can help to more accurately frame the debates about those conflicts." Heinz Pagels, The Dreams of Reason

My left sprouts: S.A.D.
Self interest (preservation?!) - "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and in advancing one’s self-interest since self-interest seems to be the only one of the many motives determining actions. However, one should not argue that 'good' motives would necessarily lead to good results, especially so if qualified information and facts are withheld and/or dismissed without due considerations, in place coloured rhetoric and biased actions including spewing hostility discarding undo consequences.

Arrogance - "A feeling or an impression of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or presumptuous claims". In arrogance, natural confidence goes sadly awry serving only and justifying for themselves at the expense of 'ill-equipped' or 'compromised' beings. "The higher the monkey goes the more he shows his tail." German Proverb

Desires - "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." James 4:1-3
Immoderate bankrupts thoughts, kindness moves mountains.


"My dear sir, they don't debate. Each of them merely issues an ultimatum, and in what a tone! It all goes to show what extraordinary people they are, each more unequivocal than the other." - Colette, The Old Lady and the Bear


The 7 Principles of "Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desires"
1. You are a ripple in the fabric of the cosmos
2. Through the mirror of relationships you discover your nonlocal self
3. Master your inner dialogue
4. Your intent weaves the tapestry of the universe
5. Harness your emotional turbulence
6. Celebrate the dance of the cosmos
7. Access the conspiracy of improbabilities